Feeling Stuck in Your Relationship? How Couples Therapy Can Help ...

Every couple is unique, but the challenges they bring into therapy are surprisingly universal. Whether dating, engaged, or married for decades, most partners struggle with the same underlying issues — the ones that quietly erode connection long before bigger problems surface.

The good news? These struggles are incredibly common, deeply human, and highly workable with the right tools and with commitment to change.

Here are the 10 Things Couples Need the Most Help with in Therapy, and why they matter:

1. Communication

Most couples say they have “communication issues” with their partners, which includes many of the common patterns listed below. Often, the underlying struggle is the need to feel heard and understood.

Common patterns include:

• talking at each other instead of with each other

• yelling, shouting, slamming doors

• shutting down (aka stonewalling)

• defensiveness and blame (unwilling to hear the other's point then pointing the finger)

• making assumptions instead of asking questions

• going around and around in circular arguments with no resolution

  
  

Couples therapy helps partners resolve conflict by "fighting fairly," developing healthier communication styles and skills, and implementing emotion regulation techniques that can assist in the moment.

2. Unmet Needs & Expectations

Resentment often grows from needs that are unspoken and expectations that just may be impossible to meet. Couples may not realize what they are longing for from each other until conflict catapults the issues to the surface.

Couples therapy helps uncover:

• unspoken and unmet emotional and/or physical needs

• uneven household or emotional labor

• mismatched and/or unrealistic expectations

• long-standing frustrations and accumulated grievances towards the other

  
  

Once the needs are clearly identified, partners can begin working on meeting each other's needs to the best of their capacity, while staying in consistent communication and understanding.

3. Healthy Conflict Resolution

Every couple argues — but how conflict happens determines whether it damages or strengthens the relationship.

Therapy teaches couples how to:

• avoid aggression, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling

• de-escalate arguments

• repair after conflict

• address root problems instead of looping old fights

• implement healthy coping techniques

  
  

Better conflict resolution skills can lead to more ease and joy in the relationship.

4. Rebuilding Intimacy

Feeling disconnected is one of the biggest reasons couples seek therapy. Over time, many factors pull partners apart like work, parenting, and general life stressors.

Therapy supports couples in:

• rebuilding emotional and physical closeness and safety

• increasing vulnerability

• strengthening trust

• creating meaningful quality time

  
  

Emotional intimacy is the one of the greatest contributors to long-term relationship satisfaction and enhanced physical intimacy.

5. Physical Intimacy & Mismatched Desire

Many couples experience changes in physical needs and sexual desire over time. 

Therapy helps couples:

• talk openly about sexual intimacy without shame

• rebuild emotional and physical safety

• explore mismatched libido and express sexual desires

• create closeness without pressure

  
  

Physical intimacy thrives when emotional safety is present.

6. Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal

Trust can be shaken by infidelity, lies, emotional withdrawal, or repeated broken promises. Healing is possible — but it requires structure and support.

Therapy guides couples through:

• rebuilding trust slowly

• accountability and transparency

• sharing the hurts in a constructive manner 

• actively listening to one another

• developing new agreements and boundaries

  
  

Repairing the past and present wounds requires consistency and commitment to doing differently ... which means, making changes to your behavior as individuals and as a couple.

7. Navigating Major Life Transitions

Life transitions can stress even the strongest relationships.

Common triggers include:

• becoming parents

• financial or career changes

• moving or relocating

• health challenges

• blending families

• retirement

  
  

Couples therapy helps partners safely discuss the stressors, adjust expectations, and support each other through tumultuous times.

8. Understanding Attachment Styles

Attachment patterns deeply influence how couples relate to themselves, to each other, and to the outside world.

Couples therapy helps partners understand:

• how early experiences shape current relationship patterns 

• why one partner may pursue and the other withdraws

• what each partner needs in order to feel secure in the relationship

• how to break predictable conflict cycles

  
  

When couples understand their attachment styles, which requires a deeper dive into early conditioning and experiences, behaviors that once felt confusing begin to make sense.

9. Setting Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries protect relationships, but many couples struggle to set and respect the established parameters.

Common boundary challenges include:

• in-laws and extended family

• overworking

• technology and phone use

• friendships outside the relationship

• lack of personal time or space

  
  

Therapy teaches couples how to set up new parameters that feel respectful and loving, not limiting.

10. Feeling Valued

Underneath a couple's conflict often lies this core question:

“Do I matter to you?”

Couples therapy helps partners strengthen:

• empathy

• validation

• emotional responsiveness

• daily expressions of love and care

  
  

It goes without saying that any relationship will thrive when both partners feel seen and valued.

Why Couples Therapy Helps

Couples therapy isn’t about taking sides or determining who’s “right.” 

It’s about:

• gaining insight and understanding

• learning each other's needs

• improving communication

• deepening intimacy

• repairing trust

• supporting each other during stages of change

• building security and safety with one another

  
  

In all relationships, there is struggle. When there is rupture, the goal is to repair. Couples therapy is about stepping into the solution, learning the tools to overcome struggles together, and fostering long-term connection and resilience.

If you're going through tough times with your partner and need guidance, please reach out ... let's talk.

With Gratitude,

Anahita